Not too long ago I was mad at the world, or at least at the people in my world. There came a time where I was in need of help, for my mental well being (no I was not crazy), and also to accomplish certain goals. I was depending on people that I loved and cared for, and still do. On people that have been there for me and I for them, so my expectations where high however not everything worked out the way I would of thought and I learned a valuable lesson.
Many people I depended upon where irresponsible with matters which were dear to me, for instance they promised showing up and would not call, cancel important meetings, not arrive on time and always unprepared.
I wasn't lost but I found myself angry at family and friends for being so irresponsible. I figured that they didn't care so why should I bother with them.The time would come when they would call me and I would make smart remarks, or bark at them like a father or try to give them the ultimate guilt trip at how irresponsible they where with me, and how I would never do that to them. Ultimately I realized that I was wrong and the only person I had to be mad at was myself. It sounds like the right thing to say but if you think about it, it does not make sense, being mad at myself because others were irresponsible with me? But let me explain. The root of the problem was that I placed people highly in my mind. I had high expectations of them so when they did not come through for me I would be very angry but it was never their fault, it was mine. Is like giving a regular employee a manager role without telling him and expecting him to perform. I also understood that people change and so do their situations and you don't know what that person has going on in their mind. We can judge them all we want but we don't know people's lives like we think we do. Sometimes people are going through stages in their daily lives were you are not involved. They mean to do good and be responsible with you but it might not aways work out the way they have it in their head because of their reality and then they end up being an ass, even though that was not their intention.
I decided to remove these people from these high positions in my mind because at the moment they did not deserve them. I would still cherish and appreciate them but I could no longer count on them for the most part. They were going through their own troubles in their daily lives and I would no longer count or bark on them. Sometimes accepting change is hard but inevitable so therefor I moved on. This was a life lesson I learned at the beginning of the year and wanted to share with you the reader just in case you are passing through something similar.
over 40 hours a week, your world is pretty much, yeah you guessed it, co-workers. Other people live by always being around strangers, and sometimes deep inside being unhappy because their world has no intimate relationships, in other words, their world is temporary. 
and internet which can take hours of your time without realizing it and next thing you know that is your world, a virtual one. So to sum it up, your life is basically the people and things you surround yourself with, which leads to a daring question. What does this mean if you are unhappy or 
? Is this you? is this your fault for feeling this way? or is it the people around you? or the people in your past?Does this give you the right to blame your unhappiness on someone else? Obviously there maybe other things that you are unhappy about, such as bad life choices and circumstances. But overall if the people you choose to be around are not making your personal world better then maybe you are in the company of the wrong crowd, if this philosophy is right. Let this simmer down in your mind, give it some thought and let me know your opinion.
rain that is, so the best thing to do is basically live life. I have so many bills is not even funny and many I have to pay late every month, but should I get my glass of water and drown in it, get stressed out, get sick and die like a wounded deer that just got shot by a politician for a 
. NO! I gotta chill out. Do what I can to take care of the necessities for me and my family but I also got to live. So here is what I did just to give you some examples. I cut the cable and phone however i left the Internet, so I slashed like $60 from my bill. I downgraded to a cheap carrier and now I just pay $50 a month rather then $100. Rather then the movies or a bar, I do a lot more 
now and take a lot more strolls in the park, where I can read, listen to music and do what I love to do best, which is to think. Basically life has gotten more cheaper but more productive mentally thanks to the recession. So there, I left you a quick recipe on how to cook recession depression and make life out of it. #gottaloveit
and what you thought was one thing is actually something else now. I think age it is a factor because it gets to a point that wait wait I forgot about something. I was speaking with a friend, a female one, and she said something that had me thinking for hours. She said that "people are friends because they are somehow attracted to each other". Now it is easy to agree and be like yeah, but wait a minute now, think about this. Attracted, that word captivated me when she put it in that sentence. Maybe she is right and people, mainly men and women, are somehow attracted to each other. But what kind of attraction? is it sexual? or is it to the other person's personality. I guess we can say the friend's personality. But being attracted to somebodies personality would you not say that somewhere in your mind there might be some sexual desire. I mean I was thinking that at this point of my life men and women can be friends so long as the man has many experiences in his "woman resume" and a couple of "relationship championship belts" (is not for you to understand). But then I got caught in that bomb of a quote "people are friends because they are somehow attracted to each other", and I know she meant nothing sexual but more about the other's mind and way of being. But what if there is some inner desire there in a couple of cabinets in your subconscious. The cabinets might be locked up but they are there, and one day something can trigger a key to pop up out of nowhere and next thing you know..forget I might be getting a little to ahead of myself. I conclude with this: Men and women can be friends as long as we men can control out dirty minds, no I don't like this ending lets try it again. I conclude with this: I think men and women can be friends as long as there is respect. Yeah that is better.
