Depending on who?

Not too long ago I was mad at the world, or at least at the people in my world.  There came a time where I was in need of help, for my mental well being (no I was not crazy), and also to accomplish certain goals.  I was depending on people that I loved and cared for, and still do. On people that have been there for me and I for them, so my expectations where high however not everything worked out the way I would of thought and I learned a valuable lesson.
Many people I depended upon where irresponsible with matters which were dear to me, for instance they promised showing up and would not call, cancel important meetings, not arrive on time and always unprepared.

I wasn't lost but I found myself angry at family and friends for being so irresponsible. I figured that they didn't care so why should I bother with them.The time would come when they would call me and I would make smart remarks, or bark at them like a father or try to give them the ultimate guilt trip at how irresponsible they where with me, and how I would never do that to them. Ultimately I realized that I was wrong and the only person I had to be mad at was myself. It sounds like the right thing to say but if you think about it, it does not make sense, being mad at myself because others were irresponsible with me? But let me explain. The root of the problem was that I placed people highly in my mind.  I had high expectations of them so when they did not come through for me I would be very angry but it was never their fault, it was mine. Is like giving a regular employee a manager role without telling him and expecting him to perform.  I also understood that people change and so do their situations and you don't know what that person has going on in their mind.  We can judge them all we want but we don't know people's lives like we think we do.  Sometimes people are going through stages in their daily lives were you are not involved. They mean to do good and be responsible with you but it might not aways work out the way they have it in their head because of their reality and then they end up being an ass, even though that was not their intention.

I decided to remove these people from these high positions in my mind because at the moment they did not deserve them. I would still cherish and appreciate them but I could no longer count on them for the most part.  They were going through their own troubles in their daily lives and I would no longer count or bark on them.  Sometimes accepting change is hard but inevitable so therefor I moved on. This was a life lesson I learned at the beginning of the year and wanted to share with you the reader just in case you are passing through something similar.