Depending on who?

Not too long ago I was mad at the world, or at least at the people in my world.  There came a time where I was in need of help, for my mental well being (no I was not crazy), and also to accomplish certain goals.  I was depending on people that I loved and cared for, and still do. On people that have been there for me and I for them, so my expectations where high however not everything worked out the way I would of thought and I learned a valuable lesson.
Many people I depended upon where irresponsible with matters which were dear to me, for instance they promised showing up and would not call, cancel important meetings, not arrive on time and always unprepared.

I wasn't lost but I found myself angry at family and friends for being so irresponsible. I figured that they didn't care so why should I bother with them.The time would come when they would call me and I would make smart remarks, or bark at them like a father or try to give them the ultimate guilt trip at how irresponsible they where with me, and how I would never do that to them. Ultimately I realized that I was wrong and the only person I had to be mad at was myself. It sounds like the right thing to say but if you think about it, it does not make sense, being mad at myself because others were irresponsible with me? But let me explain. The root of the problem was that I placed people highly in my mind.  I had high expectations of them so when they did not come through for me I would be very angry but it was never their fault, it was mine. Is like giving a regular employee a manager role without telling him and expecting him to perform.  I also understood that people change and so do their situations and you don't know what that person has going on in their mind.  We can judge them all we want but we don't know people's lives like we think we do.  Sometimes people are going through stages in their daily lives were you are not involved. They mean to do good and be responsible with you but it might not aways work out the way they have it in their head because of their reality and then they end up being an ass, even though that was not their intention.

I decided to remove these people from these high positions in my mind because at the moment they did not deserve them. I would still cherish and appreciate them but I could no longer count on them for the most part.  They were going through their own troubles in their daily lives and I would no longer count or bark on them.  Sometimes accepting change is hard but inevitable so therefor I moved on. This was a life lesson I learned at the beginning of the year and wanted to share with you the reader just in case you are passing through something similar.

YOU BETTER FORGIVE AND FORGET

If you decide that you want to be with your partner after he/she was unfaithful than that is the decision you make and live with it.  Not to long ago I read an article where the author said that she wont forget what that person did to her even though she forgave him.  But is that real forgiveness? no I don't think so.  I know it is not easy to forget after someone you love betrays you but you cannot live life happy with that person if it is still in your heart and mind.  Obviously your heart is not a hard drive where things that happened can get wiped out instantly, but then again it is in a strange way.  I think you can learn from that experience and become a stronger person and down the road even help someone you know who is going through the same agony you went through.  But "not forgetting" should not be an option because all that will lead to is insecurities.  Not forgetting its like having a seed of doubt planted in your heart an anything, in your mind, strange that your partner does you will began to doubt.  You will begin to question his/her motives and sooner or later you will start reaching conclusions, which most likely, are wrong.  That seed of doubt grows and trust me it will make you and your partner miserable, and many times you will look pretty ridiculous because of your insecurities.

So either you forgive and forget or just let it go.  If you cannot let it go then let your partner go because you will only bring agony to the relationship down the line by never forgetting.  When I was young and I would get hurt in my basketball team my coach would tell me " walk it off ".  He was right, most of the time i'll be fine afterwards. So now I tell you the same if you got hurt by your loved one and you still want to be with that person then " walk it off ". Its that simple.  Either you forgive and forget or move the fuck on.

The Real World

by Vladimir Rodriguez

I always think about life, the world and everything in it, the same way you do, or at least some of you.  And I came to one realization.  I figured out what the world is about. All this time it was under my nose and I never knew it.  Now you can lie to me, or yourself, and say "yeah I knew that" but that is bullshit  you didn't know crap because you would have had related the message, but anyway enough about you lets get to the subject.  This is how it works, or at least the process I have been thinking about.  Everyone lives on earth but everyone is in their world, ok this is the obvious, but what we tend to forget is what makes up our world. When I say "our" I mean it as our individual world.  So what basically makes up our world is our friends, families and loved ones.  That is it.  It sounds pretty simple and stupid but I find it quite appalling and intriguing that my world is made possible by someone else.  If you always see your mother, or husband, or kids, that is basically your world, other people are your world.  Many times these people dominate your emotions which can lead to you making decisions.  Some worlds become so routine that people eventually end up unhappy which leads to many negative conclusions.  For instance, working in a job over 40 hours a week, your world is pretty much, yeah you guessed it, co-workers.  Other people live by always being around strangers, and sometimes deep inside being unhappy because their world has no intimate relationships, in other words, their world is temporary. 

Now I have only stated the obvious but their is plenty more like TV and internet which can take hours of your time without realizing it and next thing you know that is your world, a virtual one.  So to sum it up, your life is basically the people and things you surround yourself with, which leads to a daring question.  What does this mean if you are unhappy or depressed?  Is this you? is this your fault for feeling this way? or is it the people around you? or the people in your past?Does this give you the right to blame your unhappiness on someone else? Obviously there maybe other things that you are unhappy about, such as bad life choices and circumstances. But overall if the people you choose to be around are not making your personal world better then maybe you are in the company of the wrong crowd, if this philosophy is right. Let this simmer down in your mind, give it some thought and let me know your opinion.

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My Bullshit Recession Advice

OK, so, there are no jobs, there is no money, life is fucked. Errrrrrrrr, stop right there, that is where you are wrong.  Now is the time to take advantage.  I am not talking about stocks or anything of that monetary nature, which I am sure is on your mind, because it is on mine. I am talking about the little things that we truly bypass every single day. OK maybe this sounds stupid, and actually, I just read it back, even corny, but what else can we do when the money is scarce.  There is no rain, green rain that is, so the best thing to do is basically live life.  I have so many bills is not even funny and many I have to pay late every month, but should I get my glass of water and drown in it, get stressed out, get sick and die like a wounded deer that just got shot by a politician for a hobby. NO! I gotta chill out.  Do what I can to take care of the necessities for me and my family but I also got to live. So here is what I did just to give you some examples. I cut the cable and phone however i left the Internet, so I slashed like $60 from my bill.  I downgraded to a cheap carrier and now I just pay $50 a month rather then $100. Rather then the movies or a bar, I do a lot more walking now and take a lot more strolls in the park, where I can read, listen to music and do what I love to do best, which is to think.  Basically life has gotten more cheaper but more productive mentally thanks to the recession. So there, I left you a quick recipe on how to cook recession depression and make life out of it. #gottaloveit

- Vlad